0610-Soft caress and back tickle from T—gentle “diamond cheek”—ritual pulling me into form from sleep. Notice the smell in the room. Even—Beloved. Mix of pheromones is a reason to get up in the morning. Lighting just right so as to not have synesthesia kicking up (like winds in the room, seriously!). Several minutes simply adjusting from the dark of sleep to the subtle and soft lights of meditation in the bedchamber.
Decide not to record dream remnants—not much different of a narrative and not too disturbing upon initial consideration. What stands out from dream? The literal sensations of making love to a woman. Wetness between the legs. The woman in the dream—non-descript but Feminine.
0625-Begin candle-lighting ceremony. The list of these: Masculine Divine, Earth Mother, Aphrodite (of no moods), Starlight in The Cave, Christos and Miryam (Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine) Union, Bearded Grandmother/Crone, Beloved Union, Divine Feminine (in the literal chalice).
0635-Meditation calling in Mother God. Sense of the moving lights—slow churn. Getting into the rhythm of breath then overtly practicing Gnostic breath techniques.
Revelation begins to come through in which there is somatically some struggle between dark and light. A lesson comes from this. Lesson—cosmic form of care if I can approach it without resistance.
0725-Open blinds, welcome sun. Set up for calling in Father God.
0730-Calling in Father God/Bibliomancy of Kabbalah.
Teaching about Mary/Yeshua/Baptism –is “the light coming in from Above”—sense of the holding that water (Earth Mother) does during baptism. When light comes in the darkness in us rises to meet it and from that we experience rites when preparing for full embodiment of The Light Transmission.
Honor cleared stones. Put them in bra and in bag for the day.
Gather food together (what we cooked yesterday—such abundance!).
0810 or so head out door. Wear moon socks that match the state of the moon today.
Driving to work listen to 432 hz music for subliminal and subconscious dream corrective healings.
Get to work. Empty compost. Say hello to the guy who gets there around the same time I do every day. Quan Yin. Genuine eye entanglements. Human care.
Set apple to eat today on the work shrine. Water plants. Catch up on email.
Send Petra the link I wrote at Dispatches Online re her book Pearl Stitch (amazing book!) (Her book link: http://www.spuytenduyvil.net/pearlstitch.html)
0900ish-work on Priest/ess 7 pdf.
Continue revising Priest/ess 8 document in prep for pdf status. These books feel like little rebels or whores to me—whores of Gaia spores. I love them like one might love their own children. Past states alive and kicking now. Gratitude and awe to Spuyten Duyvil for understanding the full stretch of their emanation. They—a vessel that has gotten myself—as well as others—across dysphoric divides. Spuyten Duyvil link (such a cool press!: http://www.spuytenduyvil.net/)
Look over teacher training with Sandra Ingerman
1000 ish-Call Citi bank
Work on current manifestations in process document/continue visualizing manifestation box.
1030 Talk with T (reify the Mythic name/shape in which The Beloved will manifest in time and space today).
Work on Law/Logos piece in Priest/ess 20.
Psychically prepare (prayer and visualization) for Thursday ceremony at Temple enacting Ereshkigal/Inanna myth (called by Mother to be Ninshubur/need to get in sync with the sister embodying Inanna—last time I took part in this myth I killed Inanna (as I embodied Ereshkigal)—so—a significant difference re the ‘human’ position as the mythic human (Inanna) descends.
Reorientation is needed if I am not to be Inanna’s light bearer.
Psychopomp work on Uncle Daric’s post-death state. Work with ‘orbs of light’ energy/image to help him continue to near the veil and prepare to cross over. What could I use of the light dimensions to coax him through the veil?
Noon-Walk in fall leaves. Breathwork. Choreograph new song for Ecstatic Dance on Wednesday.
Eat homemade soup.
100-Reread Ingerman’s Soul Retrieval, Caitlyn Matthews’ Sophia, John Randolph Price’s The Abundance Book, William Buhlman’s The Secret of The Soul. Practice mind techniques.
More work day job/emails/Submissions reading.
0530-Happy hour with a friend/discuss pedagogy re Ecstatic Dance.
0830-Pick song to dance to when T gets home.
Relax and talk with T, Dance the daily lover’s dance.
0930-Head to bed/Night prayers/Clearings/Dream intentions.
j/j hastain is a collaborator, writer and maker of things. j/j performs ceremonial gore. Chasing and courting the animate and potentially enlivening decay that exists between seer and singer, j/j simply hopes to make the God/dess of stone moan and nod deeply through the waxing and waning cycles of the moon.
j/j hastain is the inventor of The Mystical Sentence Projects and is author of several cross-genre books including the trans-genre book libertine monk (Scrambler Press), Apophallation Sketches (MadHat Press), Luci: a Forbidden Soteriology (Black Radish Books), The Non-Novels (Spuyten Duyvil) The Xyr Trilogy: a Metaphysical Romance of Experimental Realisms, and Priest/ess. j/j’s writing has recently appeared in Caketrain, Trickhouse, The Collagist, Apasiology, Lunamopolis, Aufgabe, and Tarpaulin Sky.