7:30 AM, Tuesday. First alarm.
7:38. Haul myself out of bed. Pack lunch. Put leggings on.
9:15. Make it to class. I’m only fifteen minutes late! A new record.
9:16. Find out the class starts at 9:30. Sit in the atrium and bitch with my classmates.
9:42. In class, Education 409. Try to pay attention. End up opening up this Nostalgia project Google Doc.
10:12. The prof has just asked me a question ? I really am not a morning person. Ask him to repeat the question. Go red, I’m in high school again. Remind myself how the best teachers make the worst students.
10:44: Nope, I’m back on the Nostalgia doc. Right now I’m filling in the background of the collection. I’m a painter starting a fresh canvas, making general lists outlining the flow of each piece. End up writing one of the five pieces.
11:15. Sure the Myers-Briggs test is fake news, but we can’t argue that I’m a hard extrovert. Skipped my second class, am in the Level Coffee House sitting around with friends and complaining about school again, why not.
1:30. Meeting with Braden. He’s writing a book. I’m his support worker, partly working as a writing coach right now. We discuss where he’s at with his book. He shows me another Simon Sinek video, what would happen if I changed the wording slightly on that second poem? discusses his ideas for starting a podcast.
3:00. Work. Supervisor asks me again if I’ve gotten that cert I need to. I definitely don’t reply I’m an artiste you think I have the brain capacity to remember banal stuff like certifications no I obediently put another reminder in my Google Calendar.
5:15. Sweeping the floors at the daycare. Mind drifts to this project again? There’s a different song I could use for the playlist, great now it’s stuck in my head. That dustpan is not a microphone, Jacky do not try singing into it.
5:22. Why God. I should have pursued music! I could have joined a band would have gone to band practice hooked up with the drummer life’s good. Or if I didn’t like people so much I could actually be ok with the idea of a career where it’s just me and my computer 80% of the time.
4:18. Is there a God? It’s such a beautiful idea. The mythology is so profound, and belief can bring so much comfort. Maybe I’ll work Luke 23:28 into this project too.
6:05: My colleagues think I am insane for biking home. It is only -10º honestly not that bad out. Also when you’re a writer you gotta stay sane somehow, exercise off some of that creative energy. A fit body means a healthy mind and this project is literally consuming me so I must bike as fast as possible. Given the dark and given that I forgot my rear bike light.
7:00. Dinner. I relax into the couch, look out at the view of downtown. The Walterdale Bridge is stunning. Put on some Gregory Alan Isakov. Pull up this Google Doc. Start drafting.
7:22. Somehow this Nostalgia series rabbit trails into a research project on surrealism, dreamscapes, and Freudian psychoanalysis. I’m now googling surrealist paintings and reading a critical analysis on Man in a Bowler Hat.
8:15. Maybe I should seek some therapy so I have other outlets than writing to use to express my emotion. What would be the benefit of getting diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder?
8:22. If I did that, would my poetry go downhill?
9:30. Just started re-watching Un Chien Andalou. I hate horror movies, why am I watching this? Already scared for when the ants crawl out of that guy’s hands.
9:55. Plucking this hair I just found on my chin. Gotta find myself a boyfriend soon, I’m getting old.
10:00. Looking for my JStor login. Just found a really good article on nostalgia in Proust’s Combray that I want to read. Where the h*ck is it come on it’s gotta be saved in one of these web browsers.
10:45: Incredible focus on the writing. Pound out three poems in 45 min. The first, an avant-garde piece on learning French, the second a study in symbolism, and the third a meandering, mournful examination of loss. Re-read each of them: they are brand-new to the world, but they are already so, so loved and treasured.
11:35. Is there anything more satisfying than the creative process? Than having written.
Jacalyn den Haan is an emerging writer currently located in Edmonton, AB. While her primary mode is poetry, she also experiments with fiction and with editing. Her self-published chapbooks include A Fragile Youth and Deep Creek. Her first formal publication will be featured in the March 2019 Edition of Blank Spaces. Click here to read her Nostalgia series.